Added by 1 member
Bert's Bulging Booty
(2026)(The fifth book in the Toolbert is Here to Help series)
A novel by Morgan Quaid
Bought a cursed vending machine. Infiltrated a luxury spa. Got trapped inside a trashy reality TV show. Worst. Vacation. Ever.
Toolbert Zeta12 thought he’d seen it all. He survived getting stuffed into a dead space captain's sweaty body, negotiated labor contracts with two million unionized nanobots in his appendix, and raised a newborn tentacle monster. But when Cap'n Jack Bargainbeard reveals the location of ten million credits buried on a forgotten moon, Toolbert and the crew of The Crimson Folly set off to claim the ultimate payday.
The problem? That "forgotten moon" was recently bought by FLEECE-Corp and turned into an ultra-exclusive luxury spa for retired corporate executives. To dig up the treasure, Toolbert must navigate high-security mud baths and corporate auditors while wearing malfunctioning, auto-generating vending-machine clothes that refuse to fit. Worse, Vex’s ruthless rival pirate, Zyra Ashgrove, is hot on their tail with a stolen translocator, and she has no intention of sharing the loot.
When a high-tech sabotage goes catastrophically wrong, Toolbert and Zyra find their consciousnesses ripped out of physical space and trapped inside Florida Bob’s Island Adventure, a deeply chaotic, meta-fictional reality television show. Now, a logical robot in an organic body must survive fake drama, absurd TV tropes, and Florida Bob himself, while Vex frantically works to tether his brain back to reality before his mind gets permanently cancelled!
Genre: Science Fiction
Toolbert Zeta12 thought he’d seen it all. He survived getting stuffed into a dead space captain's sweaty body, negotiated labor contracts with two million unionized nanobots in his appendix, and raised a newborn tentacle monster. But when Cap'n Jack Bargainbeard reveals the location of ten million credits buried on a forgotten moon, Toolbert and the crew of The Crimson Folly set off to claim the ultimate payday.
The problem? That "forgotten moon" was recently bought by FLEECE-Corp and turned into an ultra-exclusive luxury spa for retired corporate executives. To dig up the treasure, Toolbert must navigate high-security mud baths and corporate auditors while wearing malfunctioning, auto-generating vending-machine clothes that refuse to fit. Worse, Vex’s ruthless rival pirate, Zyra Ashgrove, is hot on their tail with a stolen translocator, and she has no intention of sharing the loot.
When a high-tech sabotage goes catastrophically wrong, Toolbert and Zyra find their consciousnesses ripped out of physical space and trapped inside Florida Bob’s Island Adventure, a deeply chaotic, meta-fictional reality television show. Now, a logical robot in an organic body must survive fake drama, absurd TV tropes, and Florida Bob himself, while Vex frantically works to tether his brain back to reality before his mind gets permanently cancelled!
Genre: Science Fiction