Not Safe for Work
"The most offensive short story I've ever written."
-Evan Ronan
This is the third (and probably final) story in my Close of Business series of short stories. If you enjoyed Morale Was Down and at least tolerated Effective Immediately, then I have no idea whether you'll like this one. You should like this story, because after all it's your story, isn't it? You'll see what I mean when you get to the end...
Anyway, it's the Christm - Holiday - Season. The Middle East is a mess. The Supreme Court has recently come out in support of gay marriage. The United States moves closer to war with Russia, China, maybe both, you've lost count.
But the worst part? Stacy is not returning your calls. Again.
No, that's not the worst part. The worst part is: your boss needs you to solve a religious hate crime in a few short hours before you leave for your holiday vacation. And even worse: the crime occurred in a conference room nobody had access to.
It's a classic locked room mystery with a holiday twist.
This time you have to very carefully navigate the tricky and mined waters of religion and politics and culture in the office. Because the unspeakable crime cannot be ignored. It's bad for morale and likely to incite an intraoffice conflict effectively immediately.
Never in your life did you feel so unprepared or unworthy for a case. But, as you've come to begrudgingly accept, this is what you do.
You solve workplace mysteries.
Not Safe for Work is a comedic short story that is sure to offend everybody in equal measure.
RATED R for shockingly bad language, disgusting sexual references, and a bunch of cheap shots at many of the world's religions.
Genre: General Fiction
"The most offensive short story I've ever written."
-Evan Ronan
This is the third (and probably final) story in my Close of Business series of short stories. If you enjoyed Morale Was Down and at least tolerated Effective Immediately, then I have no idea whether you'll like this one. You should like this story, because after all it's your story, isn't it? You'll see what I mean when you get to the end...
Anyway, it's the Christm - Holiday - Season. The Middle East is a mess. The Supreme Court has recently come out in support of gay marriage. The United States moves closer to war with Russia, China, maybe both, you've lost count.
But the worst part? Stacy is not returning your calls. Again.
No, that's not the worst part. The worst part is: your boss needs you to solve a religious hate crime in a few short hours before you leave for your holiday vacation. And even worse: the crime occurred in a conference room nobody had access to.
It's a classic locked room mystery with a holiday twist.
This time you have to very carefully navigate the tricky and mined waters of religion and politics and culture in the office. Because the unspeakable crime cannot be ignored. It's bad for morale and likely to incite an intraoffice conflict effectively immediately.
Never in your life did you feel so unprepared or unworthy for a case. But, as you've come to begrudgingly accept, this is what you do.
You solve workplace mysteries.
Not Safe for Work is a comedic short story that is sure to offend everybody in equal measure.
RATED R for shockingly bad language, disgusting sexual references, and a bunch of cheap shots at many of the world's religions.
Genre: General Fiction
Used availability for Evan Ronan's Not Safe for Work