The Book of Snobs

(The necessity of a work on Snobs, demonstrated from History, and proved by felicitous illustrations: - I am the individual destined to write that work - My vocation is announced in terms of great eloquence - I show that the world has been gradually preparing itself for the WORK and the MAN - Snobs are to be studied like other objects of Natural Science, and are a part of the Beautiful ( with a large B). They pervade all classes - Affecting instance of Colonel Snobley.) We have all read a statement, (the authenticity of which I take leave to doubt entirely, for upon what calculations I should like to know is it founded?) - we have all, I say, been favoured by perusing a remark, that when the times and necessities of the world call for a Man, that individual is found. Thus at the French Revolution (which the reader will be pleased to have introduced so early), when it was requisite to administer a corrective dose to the nation, Robespierre was found; a most foul and nauseous dose indeed, and swallowed eagerly by the patient, greatly to the latter's ultimate advantage: thus, when it became necessary to kick John Bull out of America, Mr. Washington stepped forward, and performed that job to satisfaction: thus, when the Earl of Aldborough was unwell, Professor Holloway appeared with his pills, and cured his lordship, as per advertisement, &c.&c. Numberless instances might be adduced to show that when a nation is in great want, the relief is at hand; just as in the Pantomime (that microcosm) where when CLOWN wants anything - a warming-pan, a pump-handle, a goose, or a lady's tippet - a fellow comes sauntering out from behind the side-scenes with the very article in question.