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Chemicals & Hormones
(2022)(The fifth book in the Royal Bastards MC: NYC series)
A novel by B B Blaque
Note: This is a holiday book, however it will still be dark and raw in the style that suits The Bishop and me.
I still haven't gotten adjusted to feeling, or thinking that I actually am. It's so unsettling to have a little more than nothing inside. What happened a few months ago was something I only had a sliver of a memory of.
It's undeniable. It was something.
What?
Adrenaline.
I know that I'm grateful to have her back in New York City where she belongs. That too has been an adjustment. She's been submissive and smart enough not to push for those three words and seems content with chemicals & hormones instead.
Seratonin. Dopamine. Testosterone. Oxytocin. Everything that makes up what regular people call love. Adrenaline wears off, will the rest?
A few months ago, I was a different man and doing everything I could to push her away because of those words she thinks are emotions. There might even be a part of me that hopes she's right. My entire life has been a complete void in that capacity, and I wouldn't miss them. What I would miss is her excited smile and laugh. Now, I'm ready to do whatever I can to make sure my body keeps pumping a steady stream of chemicals and hormones.
Who is The Bishop now? I can't just change completely.
Doing whatever and being willing is my saving grace. It's a part of me I recognize. Whatever has always included anything necessary. I'll do whatever, and anything necessary to keep them going into the new year. I hope they don't tick off like the minutes on the clock while we wait to pop champagne.
I have a lot to do so that can happen. Some will make me uncomfortable, and the rest will feel like I'm still in my own skin and mind. My past needs to be cleaned up so nothing bad can happen to her again.
Genre: Romantic Suspense
I still haven't gotten adjusted to feeling, or thinking that I actually am. It's so unsettling to have a little more than nothing inside. What happened a few months ago was something I only had a sliver of a memory of.
It's undeniable. It was something.
What?
Adrenaline.
I know that I'm grateful to have her back in New York City where she belongs. That too has been an adjustment. She's been submissive and smart enough not to push for those three words and seems content with chemicals & hormones instead.
Seratonin. Dopamine. Testosterone. Oxytocin. Everything that makes up what regular people call love. Adrenaline wears off, will the rest?
A few months ago, I was a different man and doing everything I could to push her away because of those words she thinks are emotions. There might even be a part of me that hopes she's right. My entire life has been a complete void in that capacity, and I wouldn't miss them. What I would miss is her excited smile and laugh. Now, I'm ready to do whatever I can to make sure my body keeps pumping a steady stream of chemicals and hormones.
Who is The Bishop now? I can't just change completely.
Doing whatever and being willing is my saving grace. It's a part of me I recognize. Whatever has always included anything necessary. I'll do whatever, and anything necessary to keep them going into the new year. I hope they don't tick off like the minutes on the clock while we wait to pop champagne.
I have a lot to do so that can happen. Some will make me uncomfortable, and the rest will feel like I'm still in my own skin and mind. My past needs to be cleaned up so nothing bad can happen to her again.
Genre: Romantic Suspense
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