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book cover of Crooked Little Vein

Crooked Little Vein

(2007)
A novel by

 
 
Burned-out private detective and self-styled shit magnet Michael McGill needed a wake-up call to jump-start his dead career. What he got was a virtual cattle prod to the crotch, in the form of an impossible assignment delivered directly from the president's heroin-addict chief of staff. It seems the Constitution of the United States has some skeletons in its closet: the Founding Fathers doubted that the document would be able to stave off human nature indefinitely, so they devised a backup Constitution to deploy at the first sign of crisis. In the government's eyes, that time is now, as America is overgrown with perverts who spend more time surfing the Web for fetish porn than they do reading a newspaper. They want to use this "Secret Constitution" to drive the country back to a time when civility, God, and mom's homemade apple pie were all that mattered.

The only problem is, no one can seem to find it . . .

So who better to track it down than a private dick who's so down-and-out that he's coming up the other side, a shamus whose only skill is stumbling into every depraved situation imaginable?

With no lead to speak of, and no knowledge of the underground world in which the Constitution has traveled, McGill embarks on a cross-country odyssey of America's darkest, dankest underbelly. Along the way, his white-bread sensibilities are treated to a smorgasbord of depravity that runs the gamut of human imagination. The filth mounts; it is clear that this isn't the kind of life, liberty, or happiness that Thomas Jefferson thought Americans would enjoy in the twenty-first century.

But what McGill learns as he closes in on the real Constitution is that freedom takes many forms, the most important of which may be the fight against the "good old days." Like Vonnegut, Orwell, and Huxley before him, Warren Ellis deftly exposes the hypocrisy of the "moral majority" by giving us a glimpse at the monstrous outcome that their overzealous policies would achieve.

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Used availability for Warren Ellis's Crooked Little Vein

Hardback Editions

December 2007 : USA Hardback
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Title: Crooked Little Vein
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 1-59606-149-9 / 978-1-59606-149-1 (USA edition)
Publisher: Subterranean
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


July 2007 : USA Hardback
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 0-06-072393-9 / 978-0-06-072393-4 (USA edition)
Publisher: William Morrow
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


Paperback Editions

July 2008 : USA Paperback
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Title: Crooked Little Vein
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 0-06-125205-0 / 978-0-06-125205-1 (USA edition)
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


Audio Editions

November 2007 : USA Audio CD
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 1-4001-0561-7 / 978-1-4001-0561-8 (USA edition)
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


November 2007 : USA Audio CD
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 1-4001-3561-3 / 978-1-4001-3561-5 (USA edition)
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


November 2007 : USA MP3 CD
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
ISBN: 1-4001-5561-4 / 978-1-4001-5561-3 (USA edition)
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   


October 2007 : USA Audio edition
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Availability: Amazon   


Kindle Editions

March 2009 : USA, Canada, UK Kindle edition
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Title: Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Author(s): Warren Ellis
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Availability: Amazon   Amazon UK   Amazon CA