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A laugh-out-loud mystery following the indomitable hot mess Mo Ellery, whose job as a school crossing guard pulls her into an unhinged murder investigation.
Mo Ellery’s 29th birthday is a disaster. After one small accident—the exposure of her boyfriend’s genitals (well, maybe not that small) on a work video call—she manages to get fired, dumped, and kicked out of their overpriced Chicago apartment. Luckily, a sign appears to guide Mo to her new life: ‘Looking for flexible part-time work? Become a school crossing guard!’ It’s everything Mo has been looking for: health insurance. How hard can it be?
A few weeks later, Mo is adjusting to her new low-paying job, her bisexual reawakening, and her new neighborhood’s wacky characters. There’s Claudia, an old woman who refuses to let Mo help her cross the street, and Marlowe, a tween cell phone prodigy whose antics terrify her. But Mo’s greatest nemesis is Poodle Dude, a guy with an SUV full of poodles who speeds through her intersection each morning. . . until the day he speeds into a sinkhole. Mo tries and fails to shield innocent eyes from his bloody corpse, but succeeds in accidentally becoming the guardian to his three poodles.
And that’s not the worst of it: some of the locals are convinced that Poodle Dude was murdered. Their allegations are obviously ridiculous, but Mo, desperate for distractions—and for several hot neighbor-suspects—reluctantly agrees to help. But Mo the detective is just as chaotic as Mo the underemployed adult, and the three entitled poodles are not helping. When a second local dies under mysterious circumstances, it’s going to take all of Mo’s broadly applicable and transferrable skills to find the killer.
Murderers beware. . . DON'T CROSS MO ELLERY!
Genre: Cozy Mystery
A laugh-out-loud mystery following the indomitable hot mess Mo Ellery, whose job as a school crossing guard pulls her into an unhinged murder investigation.
Mo Ellery’s 29th birthday is a disaster. After one small accident—the exposure of her boyfriend’s genitals (well, maybe not that small) on a work video call—she manages to get fired, dumped, and kicked out of their overpriced Chicago apartment. Luckily, a sign appears to guide Mo to her new life: ‘Looking for flexible part-time work? Become a school crossing guard!’ It’s everything Mo has been looking for: health insurance. How hard can it be?
A few weeks later, Mo is adjusting to her new low-paying job, her bisexual reawakening, and her new neighborhood’s wacky characters. There’s Claudia, an old woman who refuses to let Mo help her cross the street, and Marlowe, a tween cell phone prodigy whose antics terrify her. But Mo’s greatest nemesis is Poodle Dude, a guy with an SUV full of poodles who speeds through her intersection each morning. . . until the day he speeds into a sinkhole. Mo tries and fails to shield innocent eyes from his bloody corpse, but succeeds in accidentally becoming the guardian to his three poodles.
And that’s not the worst of it: some of the locals are convinced that Poodle Dude was murdered. Their allegations are obviously ridiculous, but Mo, desperate for distractions—and for several hot neighbor-suspects—reluctantly agrees to help. But Mo the detective is just as chaotic as Mo the underemployed adult, and the three entitled poodles are not helping. When a second local dies under mysterious circumstances, it’s going to take all of Mo’s broadly applicable and transferrable skills to find the killer.
Murderers beware. . . DON'T CROSS MO ELLERY!
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Praise for this book
"Hilarious. A delightful and cleverly woven story starring an anxious, chaotic crossing guard. She may not be good with kids or with traffic, but she is the hero of the corner. A thoroughly charming read." - Emily Austin
"A page-turning, laugh-out-loud romp of a mystery full of delightful shenanigans. I couldn't get enough of Mo Ellery!" - Gloria Chao
"This batshit Chicago mystery had me laughing from page one! Mo's voice sparkles with absurd wit and loser authenticity. Don't miss it." - Lina Chern
"Never have I had such a blast reading about murder and crossing guards! Don't Cross Mo Ellery is a joyful escape that made me literally laugh out loud from the first page to the last! It's packed full of quirky lovable characters and outlandish twists that kept me guessing until the very end. Birdie Horne is a wonder!" - Mary Pauline Lowry
"Don't Cross Mo Ellery starts with a bang and gallops like a pack of poodles toward a major collision. Looking for a good time? Get yourself to Mo Ellery's side of the street." - Lori Rader-Day
"It is impossible not to root for Mo. This book is winsome, full of heart, laugh-out-loud funny, and also - honestly? - really hot. The perfect reminder that, sometimes, rock bottom is where the fun begins. Birdie Horne is the literary conductor of the Hot Mess Express, and we should all hop aboard." - Jillian Stone
"A page-turning, laugh-out-loud romp of a mystery full of delightful shenanigans. I couldn't get enough of Mo Ellery!" - Gloria Chao
"This batshit Chicago mystery had me laughing from page one! Mo's voice sparkles with absurd wit and loser authenticity. Don't miss it." - Lina Chern
"Never have I had such a blast reading about murder and crossing guards! Don't Cross Mo Ellery is a joyful escape that made me literally laugh out loud from the first page to the last! It's packed full of quirky lovable characters and outlandish twists that kept me guessing until the very end. Birdie Horne is a wonder!" - Mary Pauline Lowry
"Don't Cross Mo Ellery starts with a bang and gallops like a pack of poodles toward a major collision. Looking for a good time? Get yourself to Mo Ellery's side of the street." - Lori Rader-Day
"It is impossible not to root for Mo. This book is winsome, full of heart, laugh-out-loud funny, and also - honestly? - really hot. The perfect reminder that, sometimes, rock bottom is where the fun begins. Birdie Horne is the literary conductor of the Hot Mess Express, and we should all hop aboard." - Jillian Stone
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