book cover of Actually, I\'m A Murderer
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Actually, I'm A Murderer

(2025)
A novel by

 
 
'Sinister and hilarious. Great fun' SUN

'[A] smart, funny and deftly executed page turner' GUARDIAN

'Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping' i PAPER

'Dark, witty . . . had me racing for the end' JANICE HALLETT

'Funny, and so very, very clever . . . the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time ' M. W. CRAVEN

'Wonderful' IAN MOORE

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A hilarious and whip-smart crime novel by the multimillion-copy bestselling author of the Horrible Histories. The perfect mystery for fans of Anthony Horowitz, Richard Osman and Janice Hallett.

Four strangers on a train. An unlikely introduction:

'Actually, I'm a murderer.'

It is 1973 and the lives of four people are thrown into turmoil when sharing a carriage with an unremarkable little man with glasses, on the night train back to Newcastle.

By the end of the following day, one of them will be dead, one will turn blackmailer and another forced to commit a crime. And all of them will be under the astute observation of Aline, the local police officer with her own agenda to fulfil.

When the body count begins to rise, the question is: just how many murderers are out there... and who will be the next victim?
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'
Laugh-out-loud funny' WOMAN & HOME

'A delightful joyride of a book' SIMON BRETT

'A fun page-turner . . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans' PRESS ASSOCIATION

'Gripping, original and hard to put down' KATE ELLIS

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Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun' MATURE TIMES

'Highly original and deeply engaging' FRANCES BRODY


Genre: Mystery

Praise for this book

"A stunning first crime novel. Actually, I'm a Murderer is a delightful joyride of a book. Its switchback turns are managed with professional ease, so that the reader does not know exactly what happened until the very end." - Simon Brett

"Highly original and deeply engaging." - Frances Brody

"Actually, I'm a Murderer is the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time. Pitch-perfect in tone, funny, and so very very clever. I'd be surprised if I read anything better this year. Highly recommended." - M W Craven

"Gripping, original and hard to put down. I enjoyed this book so much." - Kate Ellis

"A twisting, turning, unpredictable jaunt through a murder mystery that takes 50 years to reveal its deliciously captivating conclusion. With a cast of intriguing characters and a premise so ordinary and innocuous, I found myself drawn into a dark, witty story that had me racing for the end, yet reluctant to finish! Vivid, clever, cheeky and compelling." - Janice Hallett

"A wonderful story told with increasing pace. A cross between Hitchcock and The Beiderbecke Affair." - Ian Moore


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